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How I feel when I see my sister in Weight Watchers ads

2/23/2015

12 Comments

 
Joanne Soolman dietician Weight Watchers FAT!SO?Schippert + Martin Photography
by Joanne Soolman, MS, RD, LDN

I am a registered dietitian who specializes in working with individuals who struggle with eating disorders and disordered eating. My eyes were opened up to Health At Every Size® about two years ago, and it has had a huge impact on how I work with my patients as well as how I am working through my own body/weight/food issues. 

Ever since I was little, I was on the chubbier side. Not fat, exactly, but bigger than the other girls. As a result of this — and with the “OMGDEATHFAT” messages I received from my family (especially my mother), peers, and doctors — I began a life-long mission to become thin. My sister, who is nine years older than I am, is the only other person in our family who has had similar weight struggles. We both received the same message: fat = bad, unhealthy, undesirable; thin = good, healthy, and successful. Given that, we both spent much of our lives dieting, losing weight, and then regaining it. 

My sister continued to diet, lose weight, regain it, and repeat until about eight years ago when she “finally” lost the weight (about 50 pounds) and kept it off with Weight Watchers, a program that she had been on and off for a number of years. In addition, she decided to become a WW leader. That has been her career ever since. An actress by training, my sister thrives in an environment where she has a captive audience. Since she is keeping her weight lower, she is therefore the “expert” and the WW members in her groups look up to her.

I took a different path. While I also dieted, lost weight, regained, and repeated, I decided to learn more about nutrition so that I could help myself and others. I went back to school, where I earned a master’s degree in nutrition and health promotion and completed the program to become a registered dietitian. Given my undergraduate degree in psychology, working with eating disorders seemed like a perfect fit for me. While I had never had a full-out ED myself, I definitely had engaged in disordered eating from time to time. 

As my sister and I have continued in our careers, our views on food, weight, and the body have begun to drastically differ. She continues to believe in and condone the idea that fat = bad and the idea that the only way for fat people to be healthy is to lose weight by following Weight Watchers. I have been practicing HAES and intuitive eating myself, as well as in my work with my patients. After years of the diet-lose-regain cycle, my weight has settled at a much higher point, while my sister continues to keep her weight lower by obsessing over points and living with the threat of losing her job if she gains weight.

For the most part, my sister and I have agreed to disagree. We try to avoid talking about weight/body/food around each other, as it is a huge trigger. It’s difficult for me to be around her, as she is the exception to the weight-loss/regain rule, which makes me feel like a “failure,” since I am fat. She also gets a lot of respect and admiration from peers, friends, and family. They will often seek nutrition advice from her instead of me, despite my education and training in the field. My sister never went to school for nutrition and has no dietetic training, but since she is a weight loss “success” story, she is automatically the go-to girl for all questions nutrition. Conversely, even though I have more than thee years of nutrition schooling and training and have been a practicing dietitian for five years, the fact that I am fat automatically means I don’t know what I’m doing.  

Recently, my sister began appearing in two different television commercials for Weight Watchers, advertising their new consultant program. The ads consist of seven or eight different WW leaders talking straight into the camera. In one ad, the leaders talk about how the consumer can just pick up the phone and call a “coach” when facing a daunting food situation. In the other ad, the leaders talk about their own weight-loss journeys, some of them holding up their “before” pictures and saying how Weight Watchers changed their lives. The leaders talk about how they can help the consumer lose weight and keep it off, since they did it. My sister plays a prominent role in the second commercial. She says, “I was overweight for a really long time. And now I’m not! We understand, we’ve been there, we’re still going through it. I know you can do it, because I did it.” 

I love my sister. I know that in her heart of hearts, she is a good person and really believes that she is helping people, not harming them. While I am happy for her career success, I have felt very conflicted about the commercials, as Weight Watchers is in direct contrast to what I truly believe, how I perform my job, and how I live my life. I believe that people have the right to make their own choices and decisions about whether/how they take care of themselves — if you want to diet, that’s your prerogative.  What I take issue with is Weight Watchers as a corporation exploiting individuals and telling us we are less-than if we are fat, or that there is something wrong with us if we choose to eat for reasons other than just hunger. It is a billion-dollar business built on making people feel badly about themselves, and I just can’t support that. 

Not only does Weight Watchers profit by making the consumer feel less-than, it fails to produce on its promises. As we all have heard many times before, diets fail 95 percent of the time, meaning only 5 percent of weight-loss attempts are sustainable. WW leaders fall into that elusive 5 percent. When the coaches in the new WW commercials say things like, “I know you can do it, because I did it,” it is completely misleading. These people are the exception to the rule, not the rule. Out of the millions of people who see these commercials and decide to do Weight Watchers, only a very small percentage of them will actually “succeed” by losing weight and keeping it off. How can Weight Watchers claim “It Works” when 95 percent of the time it doesn’t!?

When you think about it from an economic perspective, the Weight Watchers business model is genius: 1) Convince the consumer that he/she is not good enough (e.g. lazy, fat, unhealthy, hopeless); 2) Sell the consumer the idea that Weight Watchers will solve all of their problems; 3) Reinforce the idea that when consumers inevitably go off Weight Watchers and regain the weight, they are to blame, not the diet; 4) Entice WW dropouts to come back for more. If Weight Watchers really truly “worked,” then they would be out of business fast! They keep on having repeat customers because the product is faulty, but Weight Watchers convinces the consumers they are “weak-willed,” and that is why the diet failed. And this results in major profits.

While the commercials on their own are triggering and disturbing for me, the feelings are magnified by my sister’s involvement. It makes me very sad that my sister has not only joined the cult of Weight Watchers, but is actively spreading its damaging message. To keep the peace and not sever my relationship with her, I congratulated her on the ad and told her I love her. But in my home, I choose to immediately change the channel (or fast forward on DVR) whenever the commercial comes on.

Joanne Soolman is a registered dietitian and co-owner of Soolman Nutrition and Wellness, LLC, located in Wellesley, Massachusetts. She and her husband Jonah, who is also a registered dietitian, provide outpatient nutrition counseling services for those in southeastern New England. Joanne got her BA in Psychology from Brown University and her MS in Nutrition and Health Promotion from Simmons College. Joanne specializes in nutrition counseling for individuals struggling with eating disorders and disordered eating. In addition to being a professional member of the Multiservice Eating Disorder Association, she is a proud member of the Association for Size Diversity and Health, promoting the principles of Health at Every Size®.


12 Comments
Amy
2/23/2015 10:34:54 am

It is so telling to read that your sister is considered the commercial diet "success" story since she's managed to keep the weight off past the 5 year typical failure rate (of the diet, not the individual, let's be clear) when you yourself explain that she maintains her weight "by obsessing over points and living with the threat of losing her job if she gains". Sounds like the only silver lining she gets out of that deal is the public approval that others give her for maintaining that lowered weight.

I was enrolled in WW as a pubescent 12-year-old and it triggered my eating disorder for the next 18 years, teaching me how to weigh portions, categorize my foods into binaries of "good" and "bad" and by doing so, categorize myself as "good" or "bad" depending on what I ate or whether I gained or lost. It took YEARS of unlearning and relearning how to appreciate my body in order to undo all the damage that those early dieting years did. Your sister may get the kudos from envious onlookers who also want the outward appearance of how WW sells the idea of "happiness" and "success", but your clients will get the true gift of learning how to eat intuitively, how to enjoy food and appreciate their bodies for all the wonders they perform on a daily basis. Don't ever doubt the impact your training and perspective has on the world. :-)

Reply
Georgiana
2/27/2015 06:32:04 pm

Hi Amy, I had a very similar experience to you. I was enrolled in a WW program aged 12, 1980. It certainly triggered of what has been, the rest of my life with an eating disorder, body image issues and self esteem issues. There must be a better way, a kinder way to treat people.

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Angela Meadows link
2/23/2015 09:24:55 pm

Wow, that must suck. Feels.

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Ellen Glovsky link
2/24/2015 06:27:16 am

This is such a great piece, Joanne! I really dislike those WW commercials. "I lost the weight and you can too!" Sounds like once it's lost it's a done deal. Nothing could be further from the truth, for most people. You write eloquently, Joanne, and I'm so pleased you posted this.

Reply
Paula
2/24/2015 04:01:11 pm

Thank you for sharing this story and your insight. There is a lot to be learned from this "tale of two sisters." I am in your camp, 100%.

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Kath link
2/27/2015 04:53:18 pm

Joanne you have amazing patience and grace to be able to continue doing what you do, and not sever ties with your sister, in this situation. I am so glad you have spoken up and wish you strength and support in standing up against a tide of fat hate.

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Kerry
2/27/2015 05:59:00 pm

Congrats on a brave post. It's a challenge but you are making a difference and there are people who will appreciate your expertise. I can relate though being outside the norm and not being taken seriously, it's hard. We also don't know how many of the 5+% have to eat in a disordered manner to remain in that category. Hopefully you're sister is balanced and at peace with her food and her body. That's all we want for us all

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Liz Moore
3/1/2015 03:27:18 am

Just replied to this with your wonderful article.
http://www.fredericksburg.com/features/health_living/spotsylvania-woman-featured-in-national-weight-watchers-ad/article_59f86e4f-dbda-59eb-a666-49191a2df877.html

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Leslie
3/1/2015 08:52:44 am

I first joined WW when I was 10. I was mildly chubby. By the time I got off the diet wagon I had lost and regained 100s of pounds. I still struggl with not feeling "bad" when I eat certain foods. I hate WW with a white-hot passion.

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paulav
3/1/2015 09:48:32 am

Omg, this is so me and my sister in law(she isn't on an infomercial though. I'm an RD but after 11 years in the family she lost 50# with ww, suddenly everyone asked her for her advice and really dismissed me. So frustrating.

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Michael Bernstein
3/3/2015 09:04:13 pm

Excellent article, Joanne! I have had the same issue with WeightWatchers. I now work with your husband, Jonah, on intuitive eating. It is a much better approach. I wish you and Jonah would produce more articles like this one. People need to be informed.

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Bonnie Newman
3/31/2015 01:57:29 am

I have to comment to this article. I am a 64 (soon to be 65) year old women and have spent pretty much all of my adult life dieting. And I have been anorexic/bulimic at times. Engaged in cutting my belly because I hate this body part so much. Been a food cop for the household. And so much more negative crap, I can't even begin to describe.

I have also been involved in Weight Watchers off and on for decades. I would be ashamed of the money (not counting the time and energy) I have given this business. And I worked for them, briefly, as a receptionist.

I have found this site now because I have dropped all diets and am learning to eat intuitively and accept my body. No easy task. I am retiring from the diet world. Last September 29th, '14 I awoke to a heart attack. I was well in my normal BMI (which was unusual) being praised by the people at WW for my constant big weight lose week over week and I was proud even though I didn't feel well. As it turns out, I was sick and that is why I was loosing weight. I had Graves disease and Thyroid cancer. The thyroid problems caused the heart problems. I have no blockages or cholesterol problems.

I had a thyroidectomy in December and have gained 20 pounds. A few weeks ago, I stood in the bathroom mirror and clawed my belly with my nails because of my self-hate. I later lied to my husband and told the lingering marks were caused by our dog. I realize this is sick behavior. I have already gone through a bunch of physical and emotional pain from heart issues and cancer and I am hurting myself more for something I couldn't help before surgery and certainly can not help with a messed up metabolism. The fine folks at WW's advise, "you need to try harder, that's all."

I am done. I exercise because it feels good. I eat well for the energy. And I have treats because life is good and I am alive for it. I dress well because I am a dam good seamstress. I am learning at my ripe age to love me. ALL of me. Belly too.

Thank you for the article. You give hope to this ex WW junkie.

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